#LAMH’s Martell will reflect on his divorce during the Love & Marriage Huntsville finale, and BOSSIP’s got your first look at the introspective moment.

OWN’s hit unscripted series will wrap up this Saturday, January 25, at 8:00 pm ET/PT, featuring Chris and Nell Fletcher renewing their vows.

Source: Love & Marriage Huntsville / OWN

During the episode, Martell opens up to Maurice about attending the ceremony alone, as Melody sits across the aisle and ignores him.

Source: Love & Marriage Huntsville / OWN

“I don’t know what I want when it comes to a woman right now, now,” admits Martell. “I’m messed up.”

“What is it that you think you wanted before?” asks Maurice. “Because I mean you seemed pretty sure before.”

Source: Love & Marriage Huntsville / OWN

According to Martell, he wants to get married again, but he still compares women to Melody.

“I’m real conflicted,” says Martell. “I might just have to wait another five years to know that that’s really just—if we didn’t have all them kids, it wouldn’t be tough for me. But it seems like we cheated them out of a lot, just by not having that alliance being right there together. I think about that often.”

In a confessional, Martell says he never fathomed being in this place with her.

“Melody and I not having any interaction, not even speaking–that always bothers me,” says Martell. “When we got married, I never would have thought that we would be in this space, at a place like this vows being renewed. If anything I would’ve thought that would’ve been been us.”

“Me seeing someone being married as long as the Fletchers have been married, it does something to me, you know?”

Take an exclusive look below!